Worse before it gets better

When I started my treatment I said as soon as its finished I was going return to work, to have a massive party, go out in town and dance the night away and celebrate and have some normality in my life.

Today I woke up feeling the worst I ever have, my armpit feels like its been rubbed down with a cheese grater and the exhaustion is bringing me to tears.   I’ve been so brave for so long and I’m so relieved that I can now relax that everything has kind of hit me like a steam roller.

I suppose its cause I’ve hardly cried throughout the whole treatment really.  Brave faced and strong willed has always been the way I’ve faced things but now that its all over I cant believe what has just recently happened to me and I’m quite upset about it really!

So although my physical battle is over, my battle to recover has just begun. I didn’t really get a chance to do that, after two surgeries straight into radiotherapy which has left me with more war wounds so to speak.. I guess as a cancer survivor which is one thing I most certainly thought id never be characterizing myself with, it takes much longer than a few days and weeks to really be able to feel normal again.

I’m going to see a doctor tomorrow to see about my armpit issue.

Taken today - Don't enlarge if squeamish