Having the right attitude is the key

Since I got the news, every day I got up it took an effort for me to smile, walk even breathe as I just couldn’t be bothered.  Even my son couldn’t help as I was afraid of what could be and wasn’t embracing the what is.

I have never felt so upset in my life, it was like the biggest heartbreak ever, the kind you feel as a teenager when “the love of your life” dumps you during school break time! I thought my world was over, I thought I was going to die, I thought the worst. And I couldn’t snap out of it. I said to my hubby “whats the point of being optimistic? I was optimistic last time and where did that get me? What have I got to smile about? I got fired, now my cancer is back and although I am grateful for my son and you I may not be here to enjoy it anyway, so what have I got to be optimistic about?”

Then a friend of mine from England sent me flowers via her mum who has a flower shop in Cyprus.  They really cheered me up. I’m a sucker for flowers, always have been.   So that’s when I found my smile again! I realised its ok to smile even though my cancer came back and that its not the end of the world and that I am strong and healthy and I can still fight it and I have many years left in me yet. It could still be a lot worse.

So today I went to see my old oncologist at the Paphos hospital. He already seen me prior to my radiotherapy.  He was clearly concerned that my melanoma came back but after a good feel, and I mean a really good feel of shoulders, neck back, armpit and of course out came my over exposed right boob he said that he’s pretty sure my CT scan on Monday will come up clear. I asked about treatmenat and  I told him I don’t really want to have interferon, I want something stronger, something that will really help me. Chemo.  He said to have my CT scan on Monday, see my other doctors in Nicosia and then speak to them after as there is this drug that is meant to be quite good for melanomas. (He didn’t specify what).  I also got to see a friend from the bus journey, Lady B. She always makes me feel happy and makes me laugh too.

So I felt more optimistic when I left his office. I felt cared for and concerned for and he gave me hope.

So the next time your friend feels really down send them flowers. Cause you will be surprised how much it can effect their whole outlook on life and if nothing else it helps them find their smile again, which for me gave me the right attidute.

Thanks Elena for helping me find my smile again. I cant wait to see you soon. xx

🙂 <– me smiling!

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stephen Hayes
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 10:24:10

    Hi. I’m sorry to hear your melanoma is back. Its incredibly brave and generous of you to share this.

    I’m a GP in England with a special interest in skin problems, and I teach other GPs about how to diagnose skin cancer early. I’ve been following your story for a while, it came up on my regular Google melanoma alert. Stories like yours make me all the more determined to teach early diagnosis more and better. Thanks for sharing.

    kindest regards. Stephen


    • Mrs Ayres
      Sep 24, 2010 @ 10:27:29

      Thanks very much Stephen. I hope this helps others deal with it and spreads awareness so people can prevent it too. Thank you for following and for teaching such an important thing. 🙂


  2. Zhanna P. Rader
    Sep 24, 2010 @ 10:56:39

    All you feelings of fear and despair after you found out that melanoma returned are the feelings of all who have been in your situation. Some situations are so much worse than yours, though – like when my son Edward who was about to leave for Egypt for a mission at the end of March 2009, was told he had the 4th stage. He did not suspect anything like that, and the doctors never found the origin place of the disease. Or even worse, like when Edward was told at the end of September 2009 that the Adaptive Cell Therapy that he underwent at the National Cancer Institute (USA) failed and that they could do nothing else to save his life. And still Edward sprang back after that devastating news and continued to fight the cancer. (By the way, if you remember, the same therapy helped a 25-year-old girl, Beca, who also had the 4th stage melanoma with many tumors everywhere. She is alive and doing well.) Your stage of melanoma is curable, even if it will take some time and enough discomfort for you. I’ve heard of many cases of the 3rd stage melanoma (in the USA) that have been cured. You’ll spring back again, that is, you will be cured. And that is what important. I am happy to hear that you are ready for the fight. And you will win! 🙂


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