Is it out to get me?

Hey all

Its been a while since I posted.

I’ve been feeling really low recently, nothing seems to make me smile on the inside. Sure I put on this big brave smile and show the world I’m brave but no one can really know what goes on inside someone who has been through this. My brain doctor said its natural after everything I’ve been through. So at least I know I’m not going mad..ha

As much as I remain positive and say to myself I’m fine, I regularly check myself as I know how sneaky melanoma is.  So today I went for an ultra sound scan as I’ve had a niggling pain in my right side.  The chap told me he has found a small circular shadow near my scar in my right boob.

It hasnt really bothered me all day till now. Kinda like a bad cold. Its always worse at night. 

So I’m off to see the surgeons tomorrow so they can have a proper feel and tell me its nothing. Its scar tissue.  If its not I just hope its near enough to the surface so they can chop it out again.

I so hope its nothing. And it really isn’t out to get me. I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting it, but I dont want to spend the rest of my life fighting. I want to live, love and be happy.

So back to the fingers crossed again..

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sue Richards
    Nov 19, 2010 @ 18:44:15

    I have been thinking about and hoping you were doing Okay. I’m so sorry you’re facing this awful waiting again. It must be almost unbearable.

    Keeping everything crossed, good luck, we’re with you xx


  2. Zhanna P. Rader
    Nov 20, 2010 @ 08:48:35

    Dear Alethea, I do hope that small dark spot is nothing serious. It is true, though, we feel weaker by the night. Mornings are better for our morale… Let’s hope for the best. No need to worry too much in advance. The results must be good. They must be. I’ll be waiting for them together with you.


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