MRI Results

Hi all

I got my MRI results.  It turns out I have 10 brain tumours and the metastasis has started to spread to the bone in my head.  Scary stuff.

There is a doctor in Germany who is ready to start to fix me, so I am currently on a race to raise 14,000 Euros just for the treatment. This is the initial stereotactic brain radiotherapy.  Not sure what comes with it but after probably chemo.  More on this later.

I am being set up as a charity on Monday so people can make donations to an official account via my solicitors in Paphos but I will aslo provide a UK bank account too.

I have made a facebook page (other than my persona account) so you all know whats when – this will include bank account and donation areas.  Please join it http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Aletheas-melanoma-fight/142237025835795

I am feeling increasingly tired most days, its hard with my son as some days he wants nothing to do with me as he can sense I am upset even though I sing and act silly.   

Soon I can go to Germany and all this will be a bad dream and I can start getting ready.  Here is where I am due  to go http://www.sozialstiftung-bamberg.de/

My right affected side of the brain as u look at me 

One of my tumours

What the other doctor said

I went to see another oncologist on Saturday.  He looked at my previous head scan and thinks that possibly they missed my first tumour.  The one u can see biggest in the picture. But I guess its had since October to grow.

He recommended stereotactic radiotherapy which targets the tumours rather than the whole brain.  He needs to get in touch with a doctor in Germany and let me know.

I havent started treatment yet.  I went to Nicosia today to get my head measured for a mask but the attending doctor didn’t see the point if I have not yet decided if I am going to Germany (if the government will fund it). He also said that for more than 4 brain tumours they dont give stereotactic brain therapy, and that my CT scan doesnt give a really clear image of my brain and I can have 10 tumours now, not 7 to which I replied “jeez thanks very much”.  So I didnt leave there too happy.

The bus journey back was tiring and made me queezy.  But I went and got some sushi, and a plate of chips to take away.  I never thought i’d see the day Id like Suhsi. Christian ate some chips then after a short nap proceeded to throw up all over me, the couch and the floor. So the cat ate chips too.. gross.

I feel so hopeless.  Every day I wake up and I think, shit I have terminal cancer.  I try to fight it and I scream and I say I am stronger than you melanoma, you wont beat me. I will win. I will be victorious.  The drugs make me a little woozy so sometimes I don’t know if I am coming or going.  Thats quite frustrating.  Every day is a struggle and hard to get on with it.

I wish I could just go to sleep, and wake up when it’s all better.  I want to start treatment so then I am actually fighting. Right now I feel like I’m just sitting doing nothing.

So Wednesday I go back to Nicosia, if I don’t get the Germany option and start full head brain radiotherapy for 5 days.  This will result in complete hair loss and other shite side effects which I’ve been reading up on. So I just want the tumours to vanish and I can get on with my life.  I guess next time I get a headache, I’ll be a bit more paranoid.

Thank you for all your comments and best wishes. They do help and are very appreciated.

I’m fighting, I am winning, I am alive and its my right to be. 🙂

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