Side effects and more

So I’m getting super fed up now of all this disease. It’s so hard to keep patient and I’m starting to fly off the handle at the simplest of things.

My last course of chemo really knackered me out. My hemoglobin dropped super low so on Wednesday I had a blood transfusion. It took forever. 3 pints of blood each take 3 hours and then there is the saline in between to wash out the vein. I didn’t leave the clinic till 10 at night.  My blood pressure and temperature was taken every half an hour so I couldn’t sleep in between much either.  I feel better for it today though less tired and weak. Before that I couldn’t make it up my stairs without stopping out of breath.

My tummy (as opposed to my stomach) is constantly hurting especially in the lower region. Another side effect of chemo, cortisone and other tablets that aren’t meant for the healthy human body.  I have reduced cortisone though to 1.5mg per day which is great for me as soon I am hoping to stop them all together, which for me would be like I’m actually better. I’m 1.5mg away and MRI from being better.

My hair is sprouting but it’s like a month for a tiny tiny bit of growth. I do hope it grows. The part where I didn’t have radiotherapy is growing so I have to keep shaving it as its on the lower back of my head.

Being a mum with melanoma is really hard. Last year I wasn’t able to look after my son properly as my right arm was operated on.  My son realized I was poorly and started to come to me less and less. But he is what kept me going every day after my radiotherapy when I picked up from school.  This year it’s worse. exhaustion, lack of strength I can’t carry him down our stairs or up them. Can’t sit on the floor to play with him (can’t get up again) so my darling husband has been working his butt off really looking after us both. My son rarely comes to me cause he senses I’m not well enough.  I haven’t been able to drop him off at school or pick him up as much as I would have liked so he’s super close to his Nana and his Dad but I feel like not me. It’s hard.   Now that I am getting stronger though I plan to bring him home earlier from school and hopefully re bond.

I just want to be free of this disease. I’m so fed up of being sick and really cannot wait till I am better. I guess I’ll never quite be the old me again. Life threatening diseases have that side effect on people I think. That’s the only good thing. You appreciate life more.

 

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sue
    May 29, 2011 @ 07:32:39

    Im sorry you have to go through this. I was my daughters caregiver during her chemo treatments. She was diagnosed stage IV Melanoma April 2009. But lost her fight Jan 2010. She didnt have children but she was my baby (24). Hugs to you, sending positive thoughts.

    Reply

  2. Jacs
    Jun 05, 2011 @ 02:36:41

    Hi Alethea, good to read your blog, although not so good for you going through it I’m sure.!! It’s a long, hard (and maybe lonely) road you’re travelling at the moment, and for us looking in , it’s easy. Easy for us to forget just how hard the simplest tasks can be when you’re not feeling good.
    Just spoken to my daughter in the UK who is just a couple of months pregnant, but who has no appetite, repeatedly sick, is literally losing weight daily and has not an ounce of energy, so even good things can make us feel bad!! So I can’teven begin to realise just how hard your life must be at the moment.

    Nevertheless, I’m trying to send all the most positive vibes I can muster down the airwaves/ether to you!!! You already have an amazing attitude and one which I’m sure would put me to shame in the self-same situation, so just keep on keeping on Alethea, you’re doing a grand job – even though you may not feel it or see it – indefatigable is the word I’d use!!!

    Thoughts and prayers are with you as always

    Jacs xx

    Reply

  3. Zhanna P. Rader
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 11:30:21

    Dear Alethea, indeed, being sick and weak must be very hard on you. The good thing is, of course, that you do not have any new tumors or any growth of the old ones. That means that you are on your way to getting better, even though the treatment is that hard. I always think of you and your brave struggle with the health problem. Stay strong. You will recover, and life will be better for you. It could not be any other way.
    Love,
    Zhanna

    Reply

  4. lynsey
    Jun 10, 2011 @ 16:59:54

    Alethea i really feel your pain when it comes to being a mom 😦 You must remember that you
    are Chritian’s mum and you will always have that special bond that no one not even Cancer can break. Ok your mom duties are on hold at the moment but you WILL get them back and wishing that Nanna or Daddy could take over 😉 Keep that pretty chin up and always postive. Im sending you lots of love and energy and having words with the big guy upstairs to make u better real soon.

    much love Lynsey xxx

    Reply

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