Side effects and more

So I’m getting super fed up now of all this disease. It’s so hard to keep patient and I’m starting to fly off the handle at the simplest of things.

My last course of chemo really knackered me out. My hemoglobin dropped super low so on Wednesday I had a blood transfusion. It took forever. 3 pints of blood each take 3 hours and then there is the saline in between to wash out the vein. I didn’t leave the clinic till 10 at night.  My blood pressure and temperature was taken every half an hour so I couldn’t sleep in between much either.  I feel better for it today though less tired and weak. Before that I couldn’t make it up my stairs without stopping out of breath.

My tummy (as opposed to my stomach) is constantly hurting especially in the lower region. Another side effect of chemo, cortisone and other tablets that aren’t meant for the healthy human body.  I have reduced cortisone though to 1.5mg per day which is great for me as soon I am hoping to stop them all together, which for me would be like I’m actually better. I’m 1.5mg away and MRI from being better.

My hair is sprouting but it’s like a month for a tiny tiny bit of growth. I do hope it grows. The part where I didn’t have radiotherapy is growing so I have to keep shaving it as its on the lower back of my head.

Being a mum with melanoma is really hard. Last year I wasn’t able to look after my son properly as my right arm was operated on.  My son realized I was poorly and started to come to me less and less. But he is what kept me going every day after my radiotherapy when I picked up from school.  This year it’s worse. exhaustion, lack of strength I can’t carry him down our stairs or up them. Can’t sit on the floor to play with him (can’t get up again) so my darling husband has been working his butt off really looking after us both. My son rarely comes to me cause he senses I’m not well enough.  I haven’t been able to drop him off at school or pick him up as much as I would have liked so he’s super close to his Nana and his Dad but I feel like not me. It’s hard.   Now that I am getting stronger though I plan to bring him home earlier from school and hopefully re bond.

I just want to be free of this disease. I’m so fed up of being sick and really cannot wait till I am better. I guess I’ll never quite be the old me again. Life threatening diseases have that side effect on people I think. That’s the only good thing. You appreciate life more.

 

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