Countdown

Time has passed already and I may very well be having the surgery on Saturday morning!  Some people will be nursing a hangover, others will be getting ready for work, others to go to the beach and we’d normally have a play in bed with our son jumping on us in turn and dribbling everywhere.

Instead I will be arriving at the clinic and having my blood pressure checked and my heart rate monitored whilst I change into something more comfortable.  I do hate hospital gowns. They are silly. They cover your whole front and never your arse.  I suppose its for easier removal.  We always laugh when we see the typical movie when the cute man is running with a hospital gown on showing his nice firm bum but I don’t quite picture the same effect if I was to run down the corridor with my bum on show.  However, there’s not much chance of that happening. I have been saving my big pants! ha That’s right, my big pants. I’m not talking granny knickers here ladies, but nice girlie boxers and non lacy knickers.  Its important to be as comfortable as possible and I just didn’t fancy my arse popping out of anywhere to anyone!! So I recommend no thongs no lacy stuff as hospitals are not the place for all that!   You can still look your best with a nice pair of pyjamas and big knickers.  I wont be needing any bra’s though. I hate floppy boobs.  But in my case I don’t have a choice.  Floppy boobs and one that will get extra viewing by a few doctors.

I’m so embarrassed about the whole thing. Sure my doctors have seen thousands of naked women and boobs but that never seems to make ME feel any better!  Last time on the operating table I made sure they kept me covered till I was asleep.  Any nice surgeon will understand if you feel the same way.

The doctors said I was the most nervous person they’d ever seen on a table.  Thats quite bad really, considering the amount of surgeries they have done.  I remember saying to them as the anaesthisia was taking over to please look after me as I was pretrified.    However, this time I’ve got my Bach flower remedy and I hope it will assist my nerves.

I think I was the same when I was being rolled down for my C section.   Those of you who have had surgeries will notice that their rooms are bloody freezing. And their tables are so small. But I suppose they need them like that so they can get as close to you as possible.  Never mind if one of your butt cheeks is hanging off the edge.  Having a C section was the most embarrassing doctor patient situation I’ve ever had to experience.. I think only a natural birth will top that for me!

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I am absolutely terrified.  However I know I’ll be ok cause I was last time too.

So don’t worry, as you are going down on the rolley polley bed or a wheel chair which ever way they transfer you to the theater,  remember before you know it you’ll be fast asleep and when you wake up it will all be over and you can focus on getting better and hope your bottom doesn’t fall off the bed instead. 🙂

Knackered

Yesterday I got up feeling glad it was Saturday.

I had to go do some card shopping for birthdays and some pressie shopping for a christening and baby shower.   I normally do that shopping in Debs in town.  A friend of mine works there, her son is in the same class as mine. We’ve chatted on and off since before we were both pregnant and always have a good natter since my son joined hers in school.  She knew I was going for surgery so she asked how it all went.  I told her the truth that I have cancer and she went all quiet and her eyes filled up! I said “don’t be sad, I’m not gonna die” then I tried to cheer her up by wearing funny sun glasses.    I felt awful after for telling her.  You see this is the kind of thing people aren’t really ready to hear when they ask how you are, which is why my sons school teachers don’t know and other people who know me but aren’t on facebook and don’t see me regularly enough to know my health situation don’t know either.  Its not the kind of news you share.   Why am I writing a blog you might ask then? Cause I am not actually looking at you as you are reading this. So neither of us have to cope with each others reaction.  Writing stuff down is a great way of getting things off your chest and perhaps help others who could be in the same position understand that they are not alone.

We later went to a baby shower of a dear friend of mine and her little girl was so cute it made me broody!  Then there was a pregnant girl there too, glowing and looking far to fab for a 8 month pregnant girl, and that made me broody too! Funny how you always want what you cant have lol

Hubby and I had arranged for my mum to come round last night to babysit so we could go out for a nice meal.  But by 6 o’clock I was so knackered I canceled and just collapsed on the couch again. Crap.

Today, we had to get up and ready very early as I had a family Christening to go to in Limassol.  My dad’s side of the family were there. All Cypriot.   They all know!  So when I arrived I got that extra hug, and that extra arm squeeze, the look of concern in their eyes and then I was able to sit down to eat.   They were all really supportive so I didn’t feel too out of place. When it was time to go, the same thing happened, that extra long hug, the arm stroke this time and lots of words of strength and support too.   They asked more about the whole process and told me not to worry and that everything was going to be alright providing I stay strong, which I am.  People really do look at you differently when they know you have cancer. Its nice to know I am so loved! 🙂 (ok so that was cheesy sorry!)

By the time we got home I was shattered once again. I actually went to bed for an afternoon sleep! I never do afternoon sleeps! NEVER, not even when Christian wasn’t sleeping properly.  I’ve got ants in my pants and I’m afraid I might miss something. That hasn’t changed since I was a little girl!

Anyway, I here are some visual effects for those of you who are curious! The first picture was taken 6 days after surgery, and the second 17 days after the surgery..the scar is shrinking cause the doctors did a really good job. Dr Phylactis and Dr Lucas from the Royal Medical Clinic in Paphos.