The begining of a very very long journey

On my second day back from treatment, bearing in mind that all of us had to wait 4 hours for one of our companions to get chemo therapy I was over tired, over drained and over being optimistic!

I was like a zombie! I’ve never been so tired in my life. Not even my newborn baby made me THAT tired.I had gone to bed early the previous night and rested too.  I felt sick and extremely emotional. I’m not sure if the nausea is a side effect of the treatment or a side effect from being so tired!

So this weekend I tried to rest as much as possible.  Its now Sunday and I’m still not feeling 100%  and the thought of a whole week of 6:15am wake ups and bus rides and zapping really leaves me in a drained and cant be arsedness mood.

The nurse I actually saw after my first diagnosis last year at the hospital when I was having blood tests and all clear CT scans was there Friday morning. We both couldnt figure out were we knew each other from until she said she’s actually the nurse from the oncology department and remembered me when I first started going.  She said that now she has to take the bus too, due to a recent breast cancer diagnosis. How crap is that. Being on the other side of the fence must be even harder. But we laughed and joked and exchanged notes on how to cope with the treatment and exercises to avoid a stiff arm after lymph node removal.

Cancer is not sexist, ageist or anything. It doesn’t care if you are just born, just married or a just new parent.  Doesn’t care if you are happy or you are sad, if you are rich or you are poor if you are famous or the girl next door, doctors, nurses, bus drivers, children, adults.  You could be anyone.

Live life, enjoy life but respect your surroundings and your body.  Its the only one you’ve got. And should you get anything as serious as this, that may slow you down, don’t give up, keep fighting, remove yourself from negativity and focus on you.

I am trying to focus on me, not care about the hurts and disappointments that have tried to join me in my journey.  My life is more important than anything else. My son, my family. Everything else doesnt really matter does it! Not the new Ipod, the new hairdo, the new car.. just you.

Speaking of me, last week a total of 7 people touched, taped  or drew on my breasts! SEVEN people in 3 days! I’ve never had that much action in a year! haha  Not mentioning the other god knows how many who have seen them.  I wonder if I will ever just lie there and not be embarrassed. (Lie there and think of England comes to mind)  I wish they’d warm up their hands though.. They have prescribed a baby powder for my right armpit where I’m having the treatment. Its called Proderm but I can’t find it online as its actually called Zwitsal baby products Sara Lee products.  The active incredients are: Talc, Zinc Oxide, Hydrated Silica, Paraffinum Liquidum, Parfum.  When I asked if I could use any other powder they said no.  This however may not be something your doctor would prescribe so check with them before using anything for your skin.

Bye for now.. xx

“Time is the coin of your life, It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let others spend it for you” ~ Carl Sandburgh