Road to recovery

Its quite a long one.  You get sick, you get diagnosed, you get treatment then you need to start getting better. Everything changes about you.

My legs are still weak and its frustrating getting up off chairs which sometimes cause me headaches and dizziness so I have to do things slowly.  I darent squat cause I’d never get back up again but I am able to get up off the floor now by myself which is a bonus.   My head is bald apart from a few stubly bits as it appears the chemo tablets made what little had grown fall out.

The doctor prescribed me some stronger anti emetics so nausea stopped and I was able to eat normally again which was fab.  I am off them now for a three week break.

Tomorrow I am having an ultra sound scan to my armpit area as I have a sore bit there which could be scar tissue but its best to get it check out and I a also having my follow up MRI too.

Fingers and toes crossed for good news.

Worse before it gets better

When I started my treatment I said as soon as its finished I was going return to work, to have a massive party, go out in town and dance the night away and celebrate and have some normality in my life.

Today I woke up feeling the worst I ever have, my armpit feels like its been rubbed down with a cheese grater and the exhaustion is bringing me to tears.   I’ve been so brave for so long and I’m so relieved that I can now relax that everything has kind of hit me like a steam roller.

I suppose its cause I’ve hardly cried throughout the whole treatment really.  Brave faced and strong willed has always been the way I’ve faced things but now that its all over I cant believe what has just recently happened to me and I’m quite upset about it really!

So although my physical battle is over, my battle to recover has just begun. I didn’t really get a chance to do that, after two surgeries straight into radiotherapy which has left me with more war wounds so to speak.. I guess as a cancer survivor which is one thing I most certainly thought id never be characterizing myself with, it takes much longer than a few days and weeks to really be able to feel normal again.

I’m going to see a doctor tomorrow to see about my armpit issue.

Taken today - Don't enlarge if squeamish