A sigh of relief

So I got my results today.  They had all finished for the day and were all sat in the room and I received my results and got given the all clear. So thats a clear brain (dont comment on that please ha), a clear neck, clear chest (from last time), clear abdomen and pelvis. I was so happy and I was with my son I must have kissed him so many times on the way back to the car trying really hard not to cry from happiness.

So all that I need to do now is see the oncologists on Friday morning, and get my results from the down there doctor.. lol

Yay for clear CT’s and yay for no melanoma. Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.. they worked.

xx

Results

I finally got a call today from my doctor, he said that its not good, he said that I will need treatment.  I asked if its radiotherapy and he said as that hasn’t worked they will need to find another way of treating it. 

Its bollocks isn’t it. After all the bus rides, the burns, getting fired and now I still have cancer.  How sucky sucky sucky sucky is that.

I want to shout obscenities, I feel like I’ve been punched in my stomach and my whole world has collapsed again. The whole world is happening around me and I just want to shout stop. I want to get off now. I don’t like this ride I want to go on another one please.

So I guess you can say that my melanoma is putting up a fight.  I wont give up though and I have more fight in me, and I refuse to let this beat me.

But for now I’m gonna walk around in a  haze, feel sorry for myself, be really really really pissed off and perhaps shout a few obscenities at the world. 

😦

Good news and bad news

Well you can imagine how I was feeling for a while with the news that I may possibly be poorly again!  However on Thursday I was told that my MRI was all clear! YAY I think what he felt was scar tissue from where the drain entered near my ribs. Its still quite sore there still.

I know have to get my new lump tested today.  I’m seeing the doctor that did both my surgeries who is supposed to stick a needle in it and draw out some fluid. I hope its just a stitch so I can smack him for scaring me and leaving it in the in the first place! haha I do not want to think about the what if. I’m out celebrating tonight in town with all my friends who have supported me throughout all this. So around 10pm Cyprus time, please raise a glass and drink to good health, good friends to you and to me! 🙂 (thanks)

The bad news is I’m now unemployed.   I have to say the timing is rubbish but I haven’t let it get me down. I have plenty to offer a new company and I know they will be lucky to have me.  When one door closes, another one opens.  That’s the way life works.

I just want the all clear. Trivial things are not important when you are given a cancer diagnosis.  So once I get the all clear again after they test my new lump, I can hopefully find a new job as I although I have plenty to offer, no one will want to hire someone if they are suffering from cancer and need lots of treatment.  Talk about the wrong time to be unemployed. But there’s never really a good time to be unemployed. Unless of course you have just won the lottery, then that’s a great time to be unemployed. haha

So watch this space for new lump news. Fingers and toes crossed that its nothing. I could really do with some good news.

Scan day results

Its so nice when you go down to have tests and everyone recognises you. I mean its not nice cause it means you have been there often cause you are sick but its nice that they treat you like a friend. Its very important to feel comfy around people like that. They deal with terrible news daily so I cant imagine they have an easy job! I always make an effort and laugh and joke with them.

George, as usual told me off for having a nose stud and he insisted that next time he will not allow me to have a scan with it in.  I argued back.  lol I am what I am and I do what I want. Poor George.  The lady that injects me with the warm fuzzy feeling fluid is lovely too. She is from Greece.  They all asked about Bob and she had a good browse at my scar. I think her name is Charoulla, but I’m not sure anymore.

The scan only took 5 or 10 mins and they covered my lower regions with a heavy duty anti x ray blanket thingy.  I assume thats what it was.  As it was heavy duty and he said its in case I want babies..ha

I didn’t have to strip this time and wear a gown.  I was pleased to say this to George, he said why? Aren’t you wearing a bra? lol Kinda strange when a man you dont really want to know, knows that.  But I have one of those nice padded boobed tops that does not require a bra as you cant tell if its cold or not.. lol

The doctor overseeing me said its all clear! We didn’t find anything.  WOW how amazing was it to hear THAT.

Mum and I went outside to have a big fat sarnie with everything in it then I went to see my surgeon at the clinic who I also shared the news with and he told me that Bob has to stay with me till Thursday. Darn it.

Then I had to go back and get my results and the same doctor that was overseeing me said I need to have a routine mammogram cause there is a small cyst in one of my boobs.  Nothing to worry about. I’m trying not to worry about it.  But after what I’ve been through I cant help but be a little worried about it.

My second opinion results are not back yet. So I need to wait till Friday for them.   After that I get to experience pancake boobs. They flatten them between two planks of something for an inside view.   This should not be difficult as after my son’s hungry appetite when he was a baby they aren’t quite what they used to be and I’m sure they’ll just lay down flat and save the doctors a job! lol   The joys of motherhood are many.

I’ll leave you with something that made me laugh..

New Results

So I got my results!  They took out a huge amount of fibrofatty tissue 4x3x3 and then further fatty tissue 10x8x6 .. my scales dont appear to agree as I still weigh the same! Anyway results stated: small rest 2mm in the axillary median wall of the previous diagnosed melanoma and axillary lymph node NEGATIVE for melanoma metastasis!  YAY and super YAY.

A very nice cancer nurse visited me today. I got a bit emotional as its easier to let yourself go when the person doesn’t know you as such.  Even though she has known my family for a long long time.  She very kindly changed my dressings for me as my side had leaked over night and was looking rather ikky.  Rachel is apart of the Cyprus Association of Cancer Patients and Friends. She gave me lots of leaflets to help me understand more about Malignant Melanoma and how to avoid getting lymphedema.   I have many dont’s for the rest of my life, like don’t drive the car without sun block and a full arm sleeve to keep the direct sun off my right arm!  I found a great site for that. They are cheap and deliver everywhere too!  I can’t lift heavy objects with that arm. And I when I fly I have to get a special compression sleeve too! Basically I am right handed but I have to teach myself to be left handed! lol   I’ve been given lots of exercises as well to help get the full movement of my arm back.  One involving a squishy ball provided by the Europa Donna Cyprus.

After I called my oncologist who suggested I wait till Friday to see him in Paphos which of course I refused and requested I see them in Limassol tomorrow which he agreed too.  I do not want to wait for my life to happen! I want to see what I have to do to make sure cancer does not knock on my door again. Ever.

So until I speak to him about results I am not quite sure again whats next. A lot of that happens so you have to be patient with that.  Try to keep yourself busy with movies and reading books.  That has helped me along side with friends that have visited too.  Some may not know what to say or do, so ask them round rather than wait for them to show up!  The others that really know you will come anyway but some need an extra push! 🙂

So its been a good day for me.  I was able to release some locked up emotions which is very important and I got good test results.

Next step, get treatment if offerred, get rid of Bob, fix arm and move on with my life!

🙂