A really rough morning

Well as you all may know yesterday I had to see the oncologist about my second opinion results.

I was nervous about this as she had called me on Thursday to inform me she had my results and she wanted to see me.  When a doctor calls you and says they want to see you it isn’t to tell you that you are fine and you may go home. However I wasn’t expecting what I was told.

Arriving at 745am I finally got in to see her at 11!  She said the results of my parafin samples (images seen previously) stated that most of my lymph nodes tested positive for Melanoma cancer.   I was in shock.  How on earth can they say I have that when only last week I got the all clear from the other lab?   They said that the second opinion came from an in depth analisis of the samples I gave them.  Does this mean other people are walking around thinking they are fine and they are not? Or do they all get a second opinion? If so whats the point of the first one if its inaccurate?

Dr Filippou then went on to tell me that I have to have localised radiotherapy every day for six weeks in Nicosia.  I was so upset to hear this.   You see even though they have done the surgery and that’s a success as such I’m still poorly enough to need radiotherapy.  I had prepared myself for interferon but not radiotherapy.  Its not a painful experience and there aren’t many side effects other than tiredness and it only lasts a few minutes but its radiotherapy. Its just not a word I ever thought Id need to use for me.

She sent me upstairs to make copies of my results and as I was walking through the corridors I had to really control myself as I found myself getting more and more upset.  I felt like I was watching myself fall apart like in one of those movies when the person gets bad news and they get all upset.. So I took a deep breath and said I’m fine, I’m okay over and over to calm myself down.  It kinda worked.

So on Wednesday after I have my pancake boob test at 9:15am I am off to Nicosia to see Dr katoklitis or something like that at the Bank of Cyprus oncology center in Nicosia. He will explain what happens next, when I will start the treatment, what the side effects are and what I can and cannot do during treatment.

After I got home to my at the time empty house I sat down and wrote an email to my boss to notify them of what was happening.  After I finished reading it its as if a big massive fat hand slapped me in the face and the floodgates opened.  I felt better after it. Its good to cry. Well if you are a chick. Perhaps men punch a wall or something but crying is much better. Its a great stress relief.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with my lovely cousin chatting to me and with my head all over the place.  I found as the day progressed I got better and better and realised that this is not the end I’m on the road to recovery and I will beat this.  With the help of some radiotherapy, possibly some interferon after and maybe some chemo but I’m rather hoping I wont be needing that.. maybe a few vodkas the occasional fag and perhaps even a night out or two.

On the plus side, after they zap my right armpit I wont have to shave it ever again! No hairy right amprit. yay for my hairless to be right armpit.  Less shaving foam so I’m already saving on money. See that’s TWO pluses lol I can always wave with my right arm and never have to worry about looking like a hairy amazon woman.. 🙂

My scars are healing nicely and now Bob has gone my two mini scars are healing nicely too.  I bought some Bio Oil which has worked wonders. Did you know that you can use it for old scars and wrinkles too? I still cant actually feel my right armpit so as I cant reach around the scar I’ve actually plucked the hair out with tweezers. (not for much longer! lol) No I didn’t feel a thing!   My elbow area all the way up my right arm is super sensitive to touch and late at night it hurts to put moisturising cream on.  Remember to keep your lymph node free part of your body moisturised.

I’m still eating healthy and I don’t leave the house without sun protection on anymore.  I’m not putting myself in a bubble or anything I’m just not taking any chances. You only get one life! And I’ve been given a warning danger sign for mine.

Live, love and be happy.  Because life is worth it.

Taken 11/06/10 right armpitBob's exit wounds! Taken one day after removal. 11/06/10