Having the right attitude is the key

Since I got the news, every day I got up it took an effort for me to smile, walk even breathe as I just couldn’t be bothered.  Even my son couldn’t help as I was afraid of what could be and wasn’t embracing the what is.

I have never felt so upset in my life, it was like the biggest heartbreak ever, the kind you feel as a teenager when “the love of your life” dumps you during school break time! I thought my world was over, I thought I was going to die, I thought the worst. And I couldn’t snap out of it. I said to my hubby “whats the point of being optimistic? I was optimistic last time and where did that get me? What have I got to smile about? I got fired, now my cancer is back and although I am grateful for my son and you I may not be here to enjoy it anyway, so what have I got to be optimistic about?”

Then a friend of mine from England sent me flowers via her mum who has a flower shop in Cyprus.  They really cheered me up. I’m a sucker for flowers, always have been.   So that’s when I found my smile again! I realised its ok to smile even though my cancer came back and that its not the end of the world and that I am strong and healthy and I can still fight it and I have many years left in me yet. It could still be a lot worse.

So today I went to see my old oncologist at the Paphos hospital. He already seen me prior to my radiotherapy.  He was clearly concerned that my melanoma came back but after a good feel, and I mean a really good feel of shoulders, neck back, armpit and of course out came my over exposed right boob he said that he’s pretty sure my CT scan on Monday will come up clear. I asked about treatmenat and  I told him I don’t really want to have interferon, I want something stronger, something that will really help me. Chemo.  He said to have my CT scan on Monday, see my other doctors in Nicosia and then speak to them after as there is this drug that is meant to be quite good for melanomas. (He didn’t specify what).  I also got to see a friend from the bus journey, Lady B. She always makes me feel happy and makes me laugh too.

So I felt more optimistic when I left his office. I felt cared for and concerned for and he gave me hope.

So the next time your friend feels really down send them flowers. Cause you will be surprised how much it can effect their whole outlook on life and if nothing else it helps them find their smile again, which for me gave me the right attidute.

Thanks Elena for helping me find my smile again. I cant wait to see you soon. xx

🙂 <– me smiling!

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