The battle continues

So, recently lumps have appeared around my body, one on shoulder , two in right boob, one where my ribs are and one in my upper right bum cheek.  The one above shoulder needed removing as it was growing so I am currently waiting for the results.  They think its metastasis but we aren’t sure.

I’ve also been experiencing the worst stomach/tummy pains ever.  They have made me vomit on occasion too. So Wednesday I was checked in to the local general hospital where they gave me blood tests and a chest and abdomen CT scan and x-rays.  They said it may be crone’s disease, then that its an ulcer, then that its metastasis and that I will be needed intravenous chemo.  Needless to say I was devastated.   Then I checked out of the hospital and went to see my doctor who checked the CT and he said he said signs of a swollen bowl are visible and fluid in the gut.   So I am having some fluid drained to be sent off for testing to see if there actually is metastasis and also waiting for the biopsy of the lump results to see if that is metastasis too.  Talk about a difference in opinions.

My poor veins are all buggered, broke and none existent in my left arm and have that many holes I look like a junky lol   Now Im on some strong pain relief thank god and I’m on the waiting game.

So I can either have metastasis or not.. here’s hoping not.

Absolutely fed up but hopeful.

Another MRI

So yesterday I had to have another MRI.    The doctor was worried about the swelling of my knees and me losing the ability to lift myself up and walk properly.   

My right affected side of the brain as u look at me

Charlie.. the biggest tumour (old scan)

The MRI showed that all is in order, ie no more brain tumours.   Unfortunately Charlie as I first called the big and only tumour I thought I had is sat right in the place where movement of arms legs etc is controlled and he is not a happy tumour.  He is whats making me weak so a new zapping plan has had to be made which should be ready tomorrow.  They will go a little easier on him so he will perhaps go a little easier on me.    The rest of the tumours are just sat there being zapped as normal.

So I resume zapping on Monday so get the weekend off.   Let me see.. clubbing? wishful thinking.  Perhaps a quiet meal somewhere quiet and an early night.:)

We went out today again into town.  It’s extremely cold though as temperatures have dropped and it started trying to snow just as we got on the bus back.    We did manage to get some food in a tiny corner chinese place.  Not a restaurant more like a stop eat kfc kinda place.   So amazingly cheap here to eat.  Thank god.    Then off to the local supermarket for some lush fresh salads in a bag and sushi and fresh fruit.   In between chocolate mouse and er chocolate.. hahaha

I’m gonna need an extra seat on that plane for my giant ass.. mind you cortisone reduction, means hunger reduction, means less food, less chocolate smaller ass.. hope for me yet.

A x

Burn baby burn..

If only I was dancing to that song rather than singing it to myself.  I cannot believe how bad my armpit seems to be getting.  I wonder how long it will be before I have skin there again.. Gosh I had no idea that was going to happen.

Im still so very tired, and the pain killers are making me drowsy. I’m going to see a doctor today for a second opinion. I will ask him about my burns too. Perhaps he has a better suggestion.

I hope all you who are fighting out there are being strong.  When fighting for your life it makes everything else seem less important.  But with something like this you have to make sure you keep fighting and take more care of yourself. The all clear means a second chance at life, which means a fresh start a new way of living, better than the last one. So be sure to make the most of it and never give up. Life is too precious.

Well this is a short one as brain is a little fuzzy..

Post Op

So as mentioned previously, I wasn’t too bad this time after surgery.  I had a drip in my left wrist and my drain coming out of my right side! I have to say maneuvering around the bed to get to the loo was quite a challenge! Lucky for me I am a woman and I can multitask!:)

This is what the drain looks like by the way.. sorry if its a little too gross for you..its actually attached to my right side by my rib cage.

Day 1 was more of a blur really!  Slept on and off!  My parents came to visit me with my son and my sister too and my hubby was there till quite late! visiting hours don’t really exist at the clinic!

Day 2 left me wondering how I didn’t fart on the operating table! I am sure during surgery they inserted a trumpet in my belly because I had some serious wind issues.  I think this is my reaction to my anesthetic or the drip that they put in.  I had the same problem last time.  So don’t worry if you get wind.  A lady I once knew used to fart when she bent over due to her age and she said “where ever you may be, let your wind go free” Of course I did not do this, I checked if the coast was clear first, I just hope the patient next door couldn’t hear me. 🙂

They wake you up quite early there, 7am!  They take my temperature, my heart rate and my blood pressure which was always low..  needless to say I’d always beat them to it and tell them first! lol  Everyone loves a smart arse.. not!  They said I need to drink more water.

I spent a lot of time reading, watching TV and looking forward to the next visitor to help pass the day.   I don’t think some people realize that after having this kind of surgery, you need all the support you can get and being awake from 7am till 10pm, in the same room on your own can be rather dull and you spend far too much time thinking!  Sure I wasn’t on my own the whole day, however I was very surprised to realise who my friends are and who aren’t!  Cause lets face it, if you cant find the time to visit a friend in hospital, then you must have a really really really good excuse! Busy isn’t it! Or you aren’t their friend in the first place.   Thats my opinion. These days people do have busy lives and families and what not, but sometimes you should stop and visit a friend in hospital because they need you to, because its the right thing to do & because you care. Even if its just passing by and not staying. Its the thought that counts. A 5 minute visit feels much longer to a person lying in a hospital bed and they always feel loved and supported when you do.
However don’t spend too much time worrying about those that don’t visit, and those that don’t call.  You cant change things and it will only upset you and thus not help you get well quick.  Focus on the ones that came, on the messages you did receive instead.  So thank you to those that came to see me, it meant more to me than you can imagine and thank you to those who have supported me on facebook from far away too! You are fab! 🙂

I made a new friend. The one I told about my cancer in the shop.  She was there from day two and has texted me every day since to check on my progress. She really cheered me up!And shes funny too.  You need people that are optimistic and fun to be around at this time!

I also spent a lot of time eating.  Chocolate, biscuits, McDonalds thick shakes, more chocolate.. and the clinic food was fantastic! I had trifle, and custard and apple, and watermelon and fruit salad!  Fish and chips, cottage pie, roast pork with roast tatties! Not all in one day! lol  I think I need to go on a diet now.  Hospitals are bad for your clothes.. lol

Day 3 I had my dressings changed. I was quite nervous cause the plaster that covers the gauze was quite large and my surgeon is always quick to remove that.  Not pleasant one bit.  He didn’t appear to mind. I also had my drain emptied.  They all made jokes and I lied there covering my one exposed boob with my hand whilst they did the spraying and the cleaning and the re patching.  Its quick and if you focus on the TV or on something else its soon over! Its why they teach you breathing exercises during labour! As you are so busy focusing on something different you forget about the pain.. (well not entirely but it works)

Sleeping wasn’t too difficult, mainly flat on my back but with a pillow you can actually lie on your side with it under your arm so your armpit isn’t touching your body.   That and making sure you don’t rip out your drain.    I dropped mine the first day and I crapped myself. Luckily I didn’t rip it out but the pain tought me not to do that again!

Days 4 & 5 went by quickly and then today I was allowed home.  Me and my drain that is.   I have stepped on it, my husband has tripped on it and I am thinking perhaps I was safer in the clinic! lol

I am in pain. I am not superwoman and it hurts to do nearly everything. I cant pick up my son, I cant cuddle my son, I cant do anything in fact that requires the use of my right arm’s muscles.However I can still do most things that are also important, like butter my toast, use the loo, wave at a friend and simple every day stuff 🙂

I have to keep the drain in till at least Friday when I hopefully get my results. They will decide if it comes out then. Results will state how much cancer was taken out, whether it spread to nearby tissue, whether it originated from my melanoma from 2008.

I recommend you read this book.  Its very interesting about cancer patients and survival and how you can actually speed up your recovery all by yourself.   And believe me when I say I will try anything to get better! Love, Medicine and Miracles: Lessons Learned about Self-Healing from a Surgeon’s Experience with Exceptional Patients

Here are some images of my stitches taken today. Do not click on it to enlarge it if you are not ready for gory details. Its not a pleasant picture. But don’t let this scare you!  as in a few weeks it will look like the one next to it!

Right, I’m shattered now so that’s it for now!

Stay positive, be strong. 🙂